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a note to my daughters

Parenting

A kiss goodnight – a note to my daughters

June 14, 2018

A note to my daughters.

Today you lost a friend.

A brave little girl who fought a battle beyond her years.  Who had her 9th birthday party early, who never made it to 9.

Miss T.

As I tuck you into bed, as I kiss your forehead, I think of your friend who has just lost her little sister.  Your friend, who at 12 years old, now has to face life without her best friend, her snuggle bunny.

Your friend who has to bury her little sister in the next few days.

I think about when the funeral is over, and everyone has gone home.  I think about your friend, and that she will have to get up in the morning.  That she will sit down for breakfast, at the family table, with an empty chair.  That she is going to have to go to school.  And come home.  Alone.  And that for everybody else, life will go on.  But for her, life as she knows it has just stopped.  Life will never be the same again.

Miss T, I ask you to be there for your friend.  Your friend that you may find sitting on the floor of the library, head in hands, crying.  I ask you not to expect her to move on.  Just sit.  Listen.  Be there.

Miss T, I ask you to never wish your sister wasn’t born.  I ask that you never hate her or wish her away.  I ask you to love her and cherish her.

And Miss T, my daughter.  I love you.  I am so proud of you for being who you are.  For being a leader, and a competitor.  For being so stubborn and argumentative – for being so strong.  The world needs you to stay strong.

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Food, lifestyle, Parenting

What I learned from being sober

August 1, 2018

On 1 July I pledged to give up alcohol, and I signed up for Dry July to raise funds for people affected by cancer.  A month later and I’ve reached my goal, I’ve abstained from alcohol and I’ve raised $249.75 for Look Good Feel Better, to help people living with cancer.  And I’ve been surprised with what I’ve learned along the way.

Why I gave up alcohol

I had a number of reasons for giving up alcohol and signing up for Dry July.   Firstly, I was looking forward to the health benefits of not drinking for a month.  Secondly, I’ve also lost too many people I love to the hideous illness.

I lost my father to cancer over 15 years ago.  Despite his fight, he didn’t make it to my graduation.  He wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle at my wedding.  And he never got to meet his beautiful grandchildren.

Recently we also lost one of my daughter’s school friends, at eight years old.  A little girl who loved cats and princesses.  A little girl who didn’t make it to her 9th birthday.

Dry July felt like something I needed to do this year.  Something positive.

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lifestyle, Parenting

Blogging failures – when a Technophobe tries to blog!

July 27, 2018

It’s Friday and it’s time to celebrate the weekend!!  Unfortunately, I’m still doing Dry July so I won’t be seeing in the weekend with the traditional Friday night glass of wine (OK, the reality is it’s probably more like a bottle!)

I’ve been back at work this week after our beautiful holiday in Taupo.  Here’s a little snapshot (proper blog to follow shortly):

Accounting 4 Chaos #travelblogging

Miss M and I exploring Taupo whilst Hubby and Miss T are off skiing without us…

I’ve also been a bit quiet on the blogging side.  But truth be told, there is a reason for that!

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lifestyle

A Pledge for Dry July

July 1, 2018

I’ve signed up for Dry July!  I have pledged not to touch a drop of alcohol for the month of July, and I’ve signed up for the Dry July fundraiser to raise funds for people affected by cancer.

Not only am I looking forward to the health benefits of not drinking for a month, but I’ve also lost too many people I love to the hideous illness.

I was 18 when my father rolled his truck on his way home from work.  The first few cars drove past him, thinking he was a drunk driver.  But the truth was, he had suffered a stroke.  He was flown in the rescue helicopter to Auckland where emergency surgery kept him alive.  We arrived in the early hours of the morning, baby brothers in tow, to find out the cause of the stroke was a brain tumour the size of a golf ball.  Dad was given two months to live.  Three days later my youngest brother turned five.

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lifestyle, Parenting

To be right, or to be happy?

June 22, 2018

It’s the old saying – do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?  Of course, you can be right and be happy!

But that doesn’t always happen.  And the question is – when do you put your foot down?  When do you insist on being right?  And how far do you push it?

accounting4chaos.com right #rightorhappy

At our house, we have had a week of fighting.  Well, more accurately, Hubby and I have.

It started last week.  I had been working long hours and was exhausted.  After a 13 hour day on site, I had come home to the news one of the girl’s school friends had passed away.  It threw me a little, well more than a little.  She was the same age as my youngest, and her elder sister the same age as my eldest.  And I was tired.  And it was cancer.

As I’ve said before, you never get over the death of a parent.  You can learn to cope, and you can start to remember them and to smile, without a tear in your eye.  But then IT (grief) will rare its ugly head when you least expect it.  And when cancer took the life of a little 8-year-old girl that we had known since she was a toddler, a little girl who loved princesses and cats – IT hit me like a bus.

So I wasn’t coping.  I was grumpy.

And Hubby did something I didn’t like.  He was wrong – I was right.

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