lifestyle, Parenting

Parenting failures – when things don’t go to plan

July 17, 2018

If you’ve been following along you will know that it is currently school holidays in New Zealand.  If you’re new to this blog, welcome!  Anyway, it is currently school holidays, and I’ve got a week off work to spend with my girls.

It all started out great, with traditional hut making and sleepovers, and a touch of roller skating…  And that is where it started to go wrong (unbeknown to me).  Miss M was complaining of a sore wrist after a fall on the roller skating rink.  She could still move her wrist in all directions, bend her fingers, and do everything else a wrist is supposed to do.  So we decided to put an ice pad on, and give it a day or so to settle down.

A few days later and the wrist was still sore.  The X-Rays revealed a sprain.  The Doctors were a little more concerned.  And this is the result:

Accounting 4 Chaos Parenting Failure #parentingfailure #parenting #rollerskating #failure

(She is not in pain by the way).

Parenting failure.

I thought we were doing so well – perfect school holiday fun without screens!  We just forgot the wrist guard… Not to mention that she hurt her wrist on Sunday.  We went to the Doctors on Tuesday…  Admittedly, she didn’t want to go to the Doctor, and her wrist wasn’t causing her any great discomfort or raising any alarm bells.  But ultimately – I’m marking it up to another parenting failure.

All of this, a day before we are due to go on our annual winter holiday to Lake Taupo.  And skiing at Mt Ruapehu.  And swimming in the hot pools.

That is not going to happen now.  In fact, we probably won’t get to the Mountain to go skiing this winter at all.

What to do when things don’t go to plan?

It did get me thinking about when things don’t go to plan, and what to do now.  It could be something trivial, like our winter ski holiday.  Or it could be a two-year-old tantrum or a newborn explosion AFTER you have packed everyone into the car for a week away.  Or it may be something more major.

Regardless of the scale, when things don’t go to plan, it is important to review your original goal and what your expectations were.  In our case, we were looking forward to a family holiday.  We expected to enjoy a ski holiday, with some downtime relaxing in the hot pools and enjoying a massage at the spa.

Once we have reviewed our original goal, what we had  “invested” in it, and our desired outcome, we can now make a decision – do we continue with our original goal for a winter family holiday?  Or do we change our goal?

We have decided to continue with our original goal of a family holiday.  I’ve scheduled her plaster check with the Dr first thing in the morning so we can still head off to Taupo once she has been given the all-clear.

We can still catch up with my sister and her family.  We will still get out and about, and maybe catch a few prawns at the Huka Prawn Farm.  I’d say we are in for one-handed Mini Golf.  And we can still go to the night light festival and get a ride on the train and enjoy high tea at the Chateau.

Although we’ve had to change our expectations, and our plans, we can still achieve our original goal – a fun family holiday for all four of us.

And Miss M is going to be fine.

Historical Parenting Failures (just for the amusement factor!)

This memory keeps popping up on Facebook:

Hmmm, one four-year-old bites a chilli & starts screaming so I lick the chilli to check what it is & suffer the consequences… Miss 4 gets an ice block to cool the fire.  8 year old not impressed with little sister having an ice block so she licks chilli … & also gets ice block. I’m thinking … We really ain’t a very smart bunch … Or is it just that the girls outsmarted me & got ice blocks for dinner ….? Until Miss 4 started vomiting & broke out in a rash & the poisons centre told me to call an ambulance she’s having an allergic reaction …!!! She’s all ok now but omg what a night all because I thought I’d picked bell peppers!”

Another memory from Facebook:

“Yesterday when the girls went to Mums, Miss T asked me very nicely if I could please look after her (very pampered) Sea Monkeys for the week.  She showed me where their food was & gave me detailed instructions. Today I get home & the cleaner has decided to clean out the Sea Monkeys …. By tipping them down the sink & washing the container…!!??!! Has anybody got any spare fully grown sea monkeys?? …. Girls back on Saturday & I don’t think I’ll have time to grow new ones by then!!!!”

[Said cleaner did this twice more before we gave up on Sea Monkeys!].

And a more recent one:

Miss T has convinced me we need to host a Japanese student for two weeks.  I’d organised meals (roast lamb, hokey pokey ice cream, chocolate fish – and a whole bunch of ‘Kiwiana’ traditions).  We bought an extra lunch box.  I had even set up the bedroom.  But I’ve never stopped to think – what if she doesn’t know English?  What if she is homesick?  How do we communicate with her?

The day has come to pick up our Japanese student.  I have a new car.  It’s a sports car.  It’s a treat, for working so hard.  But I’m not used to having a ‘nice’ car, and I’m struggling with its lack of ‘blend in’ ability.  We need to pick up our student from school.  School is not in a great area.  And I’m embarrassed to take my shiny new sports car to school, so I hijacked the Hubby’s truck.  I get to school, get a park (i’m so proud, it’s a little difficult to park the truck).  I pick up our student, get the suitcase in the back of the truck and we are on our way!  Did I mention how proud I was of myself?

A kilometre towards home and I put my foot down to pull out onto a four-lane road.  There was a thud but don’t think much of it, until a fair way down the road when I look in the rearview mirror and realised I hadn’t shut the tailgate properly and said student’s suitcase has come out the back of the truck!

I pulled over, quickly tell the kids to stay in the truck and run back up the road to get the suitcase.  I got there just in time before someone stopped to pick it up.

By the time I get back in the truck, our lovely Japanese student is in tears and absolutely beside herself.  She is 14, she has just arrived in our country, cannot speak English, is jet-lagged and tired.  I had just lost her suitcase out of the back of the truck, slammed on the brakes, yelled something at her in English (fast), and run off down the road leaving them alone!!

I didn’t even manage to get poor student home and I had her in tears!


Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger

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  • Reply Janita July 19, 2018 at 5:42 am

    I loved reading this! My goodness, we’ve all had our share of unplanned events and you definitely showed that it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I laughed out loud at some of your stories, your little ones definitely seem adventurous!

    • Reply Ange July 19, 2018 at 8:32 am

      Thanks Janita ? they certainly keep me on my toes!

  • Reply latebabyblooma July 21, 2018 at 1:16 am

    Poor Miss M although i am sure at her age it is a seriously cool social status to have a cast and sling!! I hope you all enjoy/ enjoyed your holiday. You gave me a good laugh, i have no doubt we all have our epic parenting failures like when our DD was 3 weeks old her daddy didn’t want to put her down, he loved nursing her but he also didn’t want to miss out on jelly either. . . . . yep he dropped jelly all over her face.#BlogCrush

    • Reply Ange July 24, 2018 at 9:24 pm

      Oh no! I hope you got a photo ?

  • Reply Lucy At Home July 24, 2018 at 9:28 pm

    Oh I hope your little girl is okay. It’s such a shame that you’ll be missing your skiing holiday but you’re right – so much of this stuff is about perspective and realising that if you adapt your plans, you can still have a great time. I hope this all works out for you and you all manage to have a great break (even if it wasn’t the one you had planned!)

    Anyway, someone really liked this post because they added it to the BlogCrush linky for some extra exposure! Congratulations! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

    • Reply Ange July 27, 2018 at 9:19 pm

      Thank you Lucy ? my little girl is doing very well, back at school this week and back into mischief!

  • Reply PrinceInspires July 31, 2018 at 9:55 am

    Nice work you do. Looking forward to connect more with you.

    • Reply Ange August 1, 2018 at 8:28 pm

      Thank you ?

  • Reply Kiana August 23, 2018 at 9:41 pm

    I think everyone has had some. I’m not a parent myself but I loved reading your post!

  • Reply Laurie August 24, 2018 at 2:40 am

    None of us are perfect and it’s good to be able to keep our parenting “fails” in perspective!

  • Reply Joanna August 24, 2018 at 2:49 am

    This was so funny! I think I liked your Japanese student the best. Poor girl, I wonder what she thought. I am sure that once you got home she felt much better and saw that you are actually a very nice person 🙂

    • Reply Ange August 26, 2018 at 10:17 pm

      Thanks Joanna. Yes our Japanese student did settle in and have a good time ?

  • Reply Amber August 24, 2018 at 7:29 am

    Ha, how amusing! And yes, I’ve had tons of parenting failures. My daughter hurt her wrist too and I thought she’d be fine since she could move everything but nope, she needed a cast!

    • Reply Ange August 26, 2018 at 10:17 pm

      My thoughts exactly- she can move everything, she doesn’t want to go to the Dr, I shouldn’t be a paranoid parent…I hope your daughter is all ok now ?

  • Reply Ally August 24, 2018 at 8:00 am

    My son is only turning one, I haven’t had any major parenting fails yet. Its good that you were able to adapt and learn from yours!

    • Reply Ange August 26, 2018 at 10:15 pm

      Yeah, they keep surprising me with new and innovative ways to create chaos! Enjoy the toddler years, they are beautiful ?

  • Reply Hollie August 24, 2018 at 8:13 am

    I’m not a parent so I can’t even imagine. No one is perfect and it can be hard to remember that in a world of a social media world.

  • Reply Tara Pittman (@momknowsbest15) August 24, 2018 at 9:11 am

    The life of a parent. Expect things to go wrong as kids will get hurt quite often

    • Reply Ange August 26, 2018 at 10:14 pm

      Yes, unfortunately. We can only do our best ?

  • Reply The Teaching Aunt August 24, 2018 at 10:04 pm

    I’m not a parent yet but I do feel guilty sometimes when something happens to my nephew on my watch. If only I can put him in a bubble to keep him safe all the time. 🙂

    • Reply Ange August 26, 2018 at 10:12 pm

      Would be so handy to have a bubble ?

  • Reply Princess Quinn August 24, 2018 at 11:36 pm

    Parents are humans too. We are not perfect and so I don’t expect myself to become a perfect mom to my kids. But it’s not an excuse for negligence.

    • Reply Ange August 26, 2018 at 10:12 pm

      Absolutely agree with you.

  • Reply Olga Zak August 27, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    I’m not a parent so I can’t even imagine. I loved reading your post!

  • Reply Andrea August 28, 2018 at 2:07 am

    while I myself dont have any kiddos but at the end of the day parents are humans as well and you guys aren’t perfect i tell my mom this all the time she still feels like she can do more and I tell her dude, your kids are grown haha. my brother is about to graduate college.

  • Reply Anosa - MyrabevLife August 29, 2018 at 9:42 pm

    I think all mums do an amazing job keeping their little humans alive and happy.

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